BTR Songfics and Quotefics
by foreverarusher
Summary: Songfics and Quotefics for BTR! Disclaimer: I don't own anything. Some SLASH. Rated T. Taking requests... songs, quotes, characters!
1. Chapter 1

**This is a songfic about the song You're Not Alone by Big Time Rush. Who all has elevated? I absolutely LOVE the new album, especially the songs cover girl and you're not alone.(: Thanks to all who read, and to all who review! I accept compliments (of course) and constructive criticism.(: I don't own the song, and I don't own Kendall. My mind just kinda came up with the stuff that goes with the song, and I came up with Shae. By the way, I haven't forgotten about Oh, Baby! Just in case some of you are wondering about that. I just have a slight case of writer's block. I'll try and update soon.(:  
>Anyway. Review, my lovelies!<strong>

_Bet you didn't notice _

_first time your heart was broken, _

_you called me up and we talked 'til the morning_

"Kendall..." "Yeah, Shae? What's wrong?" Shaeleigh was crying - it was obvious by her voice. I knew she had been having relationship problems with her boyfriend Daniel, so I figured that was probably it. "Kendall, I-" That's the farthest she got before she broke down into sobs. That immediately broke my heart. "Shh, I'm right here, Shae." I whispered soothingly, trying not to wake the guys. I knew James would be pissed if I woke him from his beauty sleep. "No - no you're not. You're halfway across the - the world!" She said, her voice shaking from her crying. That was true. We were in a completely different time zone than her - it was afternoon in California and it was 3AM where we were. "Just close your eyes and imagine me by your side, okay? Now, what happened?" I asked gently. "I caught Dan ch-cheating on me. With Alicia." I wanted to murder him. I wanted to come home and help Shae through her bad break-up. I wanted to help her in person, not on the phone. "I want to come home." I said quietly. Shae gasped. "No! No, you can't come home because of me. You need to stay on tour. Listen, you should probably get to bed." "Shae, if you're not going to sleep, then neither am I." She sounded grateful that I made the offer. I stayed up all night, she spent all afternoon, and we just talked to one another about every little thing. When it was finally time for her to go to bed, I said, "Good night, Shae. Call me if you need anything." and waited until her breathing deepened as she finally drifted into a peaceful slumber.

_And the time that you were stranded,_

_I was there before you landed,_

_He was a no-show,_

_I made sure you got home._

Shae got off the airplane, scanning the crowd for Dan. He promised he would be there to pick her up... but she didn't see him. Oh, no.. this couldn't be one of the times he didn't show up. How was she going to get home? Shae quickly got out her phone and dialed Kendall's number. After 4 rings she heard "Hey, you've got Kendall. Leave a message!" Oh no, now Kendall wasn't answering his phone either? Then suddenly, she was wrapped in somebody's arms as they gave her a tight hug. Looking up she saw blonde hair... Kendall was there! She hugged him back, so grateful that he was there for her. When they pulled back, Kendall said "I figured he wouldn't show up. I'm glad I came." "Thankyou so much." Shae whispered, tears filling her eyes. Dan hadn't shown up - Kendall had. "No problem." He said with a grin. "Now, let's get you home."

_I've been right there for every minute,_

_this time it's no different._

_Whatever happens you should know_

_You're not alone, girl,_

_look over your shoulder._

_You don't have to wonder,_

_'cause you know, you know, you know_

_You're not alone girl, I'll be there to hold you_

_I'll stay till its over_

_And you know, you know, you know,_

_that you're not alone_

_that you're not alone_

When Shae and I arrived at her house, I could tell she was trying not to cry. It really hurt her that Dan hadn't shown up, and I completely understood why. What if I hadn't been there? She would've been stranded. "Shae... do you want me to come in?" She debated for a minute, then finally nodded her head. I got out of the car and walked in with her. She set her stuff down as she walked into her room, and while her back was facing towards me, I heard a sniffle, and watched her wipe a tear away. I sat down on her bed and held my arms out to her. Without a word, she settled herself in them, and I just held her, stroking her hair and letting her cry. "You're not alone." I whispered.

_All the days that you were stressed out,_

_Feeling like pulling your hair out,_

_They were all missing,_

_But I was here listening._

"Ken, I can't deal with all this right now! Dan just cheated on me, the paparazzi's convinced you and I are dating, I can't find a publisher that likes my book, and I DON'T UNDERSTAND CALCULUS." Shae said. I smiled softly. It wasn't funny, it was just hard to believe she had kept it all bottled up for that long. Not understanding calculus was just the last straw. "Okay, let's calm down, alright? We can't understand calculus until you calm down." She looked right in my eyes and said, "I need to talk." I understood. "Of course, Shae. Go right ahead. Talk as long as you want. I'm all ears."

_I've been right there for every minute,_

_this time it's no different._

_Whatever happens you should know_

_You're not alone, girl,_

_look over your shoulder._

_You don't have to wonder,_

_'cause you know, you know, you know_

_You're not alone girl, I'll be there to hold you_

_I'll stay till its over_

_And you know, you know, you know,_

_that you're not alone_

_that you're not alone_

_I'll be here for you no matter what_

_Comes around the corner_

_Whoa oh, whoa oh, whoa oh, whoa oh,_

_As long as I am breathing,_

_You won't have to worry no more._

When Shae walked into the apartment, put down her backpack, and ran to her room and shut the door, I knew something was up. Knocking on her door, I called out "Shaeleigh?" There wasn't a reply. "Shaeleigh, I'm coming in." I tried the knob, and to my surprise it worked. When I went inside her room, I found her curled up in a ball on her bed. "Shae, what's wrong?" She lifted her head and I saw she was crying. "Dan's telling everyone I slept with him, and that I gave him an STD." "Oh, Shae..." I said sympathetically. "I'm so sorry. Listen, don't even worry about it. I'll put a stop to it. As long as I'm here, you don't have to worry about that kind of thing anymore, okay?" "Okay." she said with a sniffle.

_'Cause you're not alone girl,_

_look over your shoulder_

_You don't have to wonder,_

_'cause you know, you know_

_You're not alone, girl,_

_look over your shoulder._

_You don't have to wonder,_

_'cause you know, you know, you know_

_You're not alone girl, I'll be there to hold you_

_I'll stay till its over_

_And you know, you know, you know,_

_that you're not alone_

_that you're not alone_

_that you're not alone_

_that you're not alone_

_Bet you didn't notice _

_first time your heart was broken, _

_you called me up and we talked 'til the morning_

As I lay next to Shae, my arms around wrapped tightly around her, rubbing her back, trying to stop the tears from falling, I think about all these things that happened. And the only thing I have to say to finally soothe her is "You're not alone, Shae. I love you."

**I'll admit, I love corny and romantic and sappy stuff.(: I hope you liked it! Don't forget to review!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Hello again! So far nobody has reviewed the first chapter... by the way, I changed the title of this story because I'm going to put just random songfics in here that are by Big Time Rush. This one is Cover Girl. Warning: It's extremely romantic and sappy and corny just like the first chapter. I hope you all like it. Don't forget to review!**

_I don't know why you always get so insecure._

_I wish that you could see what I see_

_When you're looking in the mirror._

_And why won't you believe me when I say,_

_That to me you get more beautiful every day?_

Haley Marie Iris. That name managed to give me chills every time I heard it. She was my girlfriend, and we'd been going out for 8 months and 9 days exactly. I loved her with my whole heart, and there wasn't a single thing I didn't love. Except.. her insecurities. She was gorgeous - deep brown eyes, thick, curly auburn hair. She was perfect from my eyes, but she could only find the bad things about herself. Haley was looking in the mirror, and I was standing behind her, watching her. "Yes, James?" she asked, when she saw I was staring. I quickly jumped out of my thoughts. "Nothing, you're just beautiful." I smiled gently at her when I saw her blush. As she turned back to the mirror, the little smile she had on her face quickly turned to a frown. "Thanks." she said, not sounding like she believed me at all. I quickly spun her around and cupped her face in my hands. "Why won't you believe me when I tell you that?" I asked. "You get more beautiful every day... why can't you see what I see?"

_When you're looking at the magazines,_

_thinking that you just won't measure up,_

_you're wrong._

_'Cause you're my cover - cover girl,_

_I think you're the superstar, yeah you are,_

_why don't you know?_

_Yeah, you're so pretty, that it hurts._

_It's what's underneath the skin, the beauty that shines within._

_You're the only one that rocks my world,_

_my cover girl._

_Oh, my cover girl._

I stood in the doorway of Haley's room, watching her looking at her magazines while sitting on her bed. I was mentally shaking my head as she frowned at every picture that she came across while muttering "Why can't I look like that...?" or "I'll never measure up." It was obvious she didn't know I was there. She had never done that when I was around. I just wanted her to finally get it through her head that she was more than any girl that was on a magazine! I walked over to her and gently tipped her chin up so she would look at me. Haley jumped when she realized I was there, but she didn't look away. "Listen, sweetheart. If you're just going to think that you're not as good as them when you look at magazines, I don't want you looking at magazines anymore. You're so much more beautiful than any of them, okay? Honestly, you're so pretty that it hurts. It hurts! Whenever I see you, my breath gets caught in my throat, and it's hard for me to breathe for a few minutes. Then when I can finally breathe again, my stomach gets all twisted up when I remember that you're mine. It's so unbelievable that such a beautiful girl is mine! You're the only one that rocks my world, alright? I don't like any other girl the way I like you, and I think you're so much more beautiful than any other girl out there." Her eyes filled up with tears as I told her that. Then I leaned down, and we kissed for a few minutes. When I pulled back, I whispered, "I love you, baby."

_You walk in rainboots on a perfect summer day,_

_Somehow you always see the dark side,_

_when everything's okay._

_You wear baggy clothes to camoflauge your shape._

_Whoa, but you know that I love you,_

_Just the way you're made._

Haley was never confident in what she wore. She always wore sweats and t-shirts. I loved her in those, and don't get me wrong, she was still gorgeous. I just wished that she was confident enough to wear a cute dress, or skirt. It wasn't that I wanted her to, I just wish she felt confident enough to. Do you get what I mean? Anyway. She was sitting on the couch, drinking water. "Hey, you want a snack?" I called from the kitchen. "No thanks, I'm good." Oh, there she goes again. Whenever she said that, it was because she was trying to be polite, and lately whenever she had said it it was because she was going on a dieting kick again. I walked out into the living room, sat next to her, and started rubbing her back. "You know that I love you exactly how you're made, right?" she quickly looked at me. "What are you talking about?" "I've noticed that you're always wearing baggy clothes, and the only reason I can think of is because you want to hide what 'shape' you are. I just wanted you to know that you're perfect exactly the way you are." For probably the 10th time in just 2 days, her eyes once again filled up with tears. I smiled, and pulled her in for a long hug.

_When you're looking at the magazines_

_And thinking that you're just not good enough_

_You're so wrong, baby_

_Cause you're my cover, cover girl_

_I think you're a superstar, yeah you are_

_Why don't you know_

_Yeah, you're so pretty that it hurts_

_It's what's underneath your skin_

_The beauty that shines within_

_You're the only one that rocks my world_

_My cover girl_

_Got a heart of gold, a perfect original_

_Wish you would stop being so hard on yourself for awhile_

_And when I see that face_

_I'd try a thousand ways_

_I would do anything to make you smile_

There Haley was, on the computer, on Facebook. She was looking through pictures - first she went through a ton of pictures of her, shaking her head while talking silently to herself. Then she went through a ton of pictures of me, doing the same thing. Finally, I went up to her. "What are you doing, Hay?" She jumped when she noticed me. "Oh, nothing." I looked at her reproachfully, letting her know that I knew something was up. "It's just... I don't belong with you. You're so much better looking than me! I don't measure up to your standards..." My eyes widened. She didn't live up to my standards? What part of 'It hurts to look at you because you're so beautiful' didn't she understand? I just wanted her to smile. Actually _smile_, not just that fake smile that she always had on. After thinking for a minute, I leaned in and kissed her just the way she loved to be kissed. It was a little teasing, but still fully passionate. When I pulled back, there it was - a legitimate smile. "There we go... I'd do anything to make you smile."

_Cause you're my cover, cover girl_

_I think you're a superstar, yeah you are_

_Why don't you know_

_Yeah, you're so pretty that it hurts_

_It's what's underneath your skin_

_The beauty that shines within_

_You're the only one that rocks my world_

_My cover girl_

_Oh woah oh oh oh, my cover girl_

_Oh woah oh oh oh, my cover girl_

_Whoa oh, my cover girl_

_Whoa oh, my cover girl_

That night, we were laying on the couch, watching TV. She was sitting between my legs, leaning back on my chest. My arms were around her, and we were both comfortable. Carlos was sitting on the floor, Logan was next to him, and Kendall was in a chair across the room. While nobody was looking, I gently kissed her head, and whispered in her ear "You're my cover girl. The one that rocks my world. The only one I want to be with. The one that's the most beautiful girl out there. I love you."

**What did I tell you? Corny and sappy and romantic.(; Don't forget to review, and let me know what you think! I take constructive criticism. Just let me know what I could do better for next time! Thanks for reading.(:**


	3. Chapter 3

**Quotefic! Haha, I'm not even sure if that's a real thing, but let's just go with it! Okay, I'm going to give a warning right now, there is a character death in here. Then, the Disclaimer stuff... I don't own BTR, yadda yadda yadda. You get my drift. Review, you lovely people out there!**

_When you are sad I will dry your tears_

We had just gotten back to apartment 2J. It was dead silent, except the sounds of sniffling and the distant sobs I could hear coming from Nicole's room. We had just gotten back from Carlos's funeral. He had been hit by a car walking across the street a few weeks prior and was killed on impact. Nobody knew how to function without him - what with him and his crazy, random, fun-loving-ness that nobody else had. But nobody was taking it worse than Nicole. I got up off the couch and made my way to her room. I knocked once softly before just opening the door and standing in the doorway. She was curled up in the fetal position on the floor in the corner of her room, shaking. When Nicole looked up at me, I could see the burning pain in her eyes and her tear-stained cheeks. It broke my heart. I quickly scooped her up in my arms and sat down on her bed, putting her on my lap. "K-K-Kendall, I m-miss him s-so much!" she stuttered out, barely able to form words. "I know, sweetheart. I miss him too. Let it all out." i kept whispering soothingly to her as she curled up tighter and sobbed into my chest. "Sh... sh..." After a half an hour, Nicole was done for the night. I knew it'd be a lon time before any of us were at least a little bit better. For tonight, though, I just held her face in my hands, wiping the tears away, and held her close.

_When you are scared I will ease your fears_

Nicole and I shared a room. I used to share it with Carlos and Nicole had her own room, but she moved in with me so she wouldn't have to be alone. It was a little cramped with an extra bed in there, but nobody touched Carlos's bed. Then James and Logan put an air mattress in our room because they didn't want to be alone either. We all did everything together since... that night. It made me want to throw up just thinking about it. Why Carlos? Why sweet, loving, innocent, childish Carlos? I pounded my fist into my pillow silently as these thoughts blew through my head. Then suddenly there was a presence next to my bed. "K-K-Kendall? Can I s-sleep with you tonight?" Nicole's voice squeaked out shyly. "Of course." I moved over, but made her get on the side by the wall. It was obvious she was scared, and if I was going to protect her, then I needed to be on the outside. "Thanks." Her voice was all nasally, like she'd been crying. She probably had. I wrapped my arms around her, pulled her close, and once again started whispering soothingly to her as she buried her face in the crook of my shoulder and neck. "Sh... it's okay, I'm right here. I won't let anything hurt you. I got you." After a few minutes, I felt her relax - she was asleep. Mission accomplished. With a sad smile, I leaned down and gently kissed her forehead.

_When you are worried I will give you hope_

Nicole was worried about something. She wouldn't admit it, but it was obvious. She would sit all tensed up, stare off into space, and was a lot more jumpy than usual. When I came and sat next to her, she didn't even otice me until i started rubbing her back - then she jumped. "Nicole, what's going on?" I asked. She looked at me with a forced smile. "Nothing, Kendall. Why do you ask?" I rolled my eyes. "Don't play dumb with me, Nicole. Just tell me what the heck is wrong!" Her eyes filled up with tears and she ran into our room. Great, now I had let my feelings get the better of me. I quickly walked to our room and put my hand on her bcack. "I'm sorry, I just hate seeing you so worried. Can you please tell me what's wrong?" I whispered. "I'm singing for Griffin today for the first time. If I don't do good, he's going to send me home." I tipped her chin up so she would look at me. "You're going to do amazing. You just have to think positive! Your voice is the most beautiful voice I've ever heard. Alright? If Griffin doesn't like you, and I can't imagine why he wouldn't, then we'll find a new company for you to record with. We're not going to let you go home. Understand?" She gave me a little smile, hope shining a light in her eyes for the first time. "Yes, I understand. Thankyou, Kendall." I gave her a warm smile back, and pulled her in for a strong hug. "No problem."

_If you want to give up I'll help you cope_

When I got home, I saw James hugging Nicole and rubbing her back, a sad look in his eyes. Logan had a hand on Nicole's back, trying to comfort her. I gave James a questioning look when he met my eyes, and he mouthed "Grades." Oh, no. Nicole had been having trouble in a lot of her classes because Gustavo always kept her at the studio so late, and she never had time to do homework or study, and she was always so tired when she got to school that she couldn't remember anything. We had talked to Gustavo about it before, but he still hadn't done anything. I saw the report card in Logan's hand, so I took it to look at it. Ooh, her grades were.. not good. At all. In any class. James gently turned her around so she was facing me. I gave her a sympathetic look and opened my arms to her so she rushed into them. I enveloped her in a tight hug, and started talking to her. "Listen, it'll all be okay. We'll all help you out... right?" I looked at James and Logan who quickly said "Yeah, yeah, of course!" "We'll talk to Gustavo, we'll all help you with homework, you'll be able to take re-tests... it'll all work out. I promise. I'm not going to let this ruin your career. Alright?" She finally looked up, and said "Alright." Satisfied, I leaned down to kiss her forehead.

_When you're lost and can't see the light, I'll be your beacon shining so bright_

**BOOM!** Thunder shook the entire house. James covered his ears, wincing at the sound, Logan barely looked up from his book, and Nicole shrank a little bit more into the couch. I noticed she was acting different than usual, but I figured she just didn't like storms, just like James. That was probably why they were sitting together on the couch. Logan and I didn't mind storms, so they had each other to comfort. Suddenly, the lights flickered once, then we were in total darkness. Dang it, why hadn't I thought to get a flashlight? "Hey, Logan, do you know where a flashlight would be?" "Yeah, I'll go get one." Came a voice in the darkness. As Logan felt his way around to try and find a flashlight, I heard James saying "It's okay... it's okay... the generator should kick on in a few minutes." I didn't know if he was talking to himself, or Nicole. Logan came back a few minutes later. "But until then..." then he flicked the flashlight on and gave it to me. I pointed it toward James and Nicole for a second, and in that split second I saw a terrified look in Nicole's eyes. I quickly moved over to her "Hey, are you afraid of the dark, love?" "Mmhmm." she said shyly. It was obvious she was embarrassed that she was afraid of it, but I thought it was adorable. "Here, James." I gave him the flashlight, then pulled Nicole so she was tucked into my side. "It's all right... the lights will be back on soon." James made sure to keep the light focused around us so she wouldn't be so scared.

_This is my oath that I pledge to the end. Why, you may ask? Because you're my friend._

That night as Nicole and I were laying in bed and she was asleep, safe and sound in my arms, I was thinking. Thinking about how losing Carlos had brought us all closer together. That night, I vowed to myself in the silence, "I promise I'll be there for all of you, to protect you, and be the strong rock that holds us all together."

And that was how I, Kendall Donald Knight, became the leader of the group.


	4. Chapter 4

**So, this is Invisible by Taylor Swift, not by Big Time Rush. By the way, feel free to request anything you want. I've decided that I'm probably just going to do one-shots about Kendall and James, but if you request Logan or Carlos, I'll be happy to write those too.(: Anyway. I don't own BTR no matter how much I want to. *Sigh..* One day.(; Review, please! Let me know what you think, and of course give me requests!**

_She can't see the way your eyes,_

_Light up when you smile._

_She'll never notice how you stop and stare,_

_Whenever she walks by._

_And you can't see me wanting you_

_The way you want her,_

_But you are everything to me._

_I just wanna show you,_

_She don't even know you._

_She's never gonna love you_

_Like I want to._

_And you just see right through me,_

_But if you only knew me,_

_We could be a_

_Beautiful, miracle, unbelievable,_

_Instead of just invisible._

There he was - James Diamond. everyday he walked by my locker - so confident, so gorgeous, so... perfect. We had talked a few times, and he considered us friends. I desperately wanted to be more than that. But everyday as he walked by, the school head cheerleader would also walk by. Ashley. The name even tasted bad in my mouth, and I just wanted to strangle her. She had James' affection, and she didn't even care! She completely blew him off each and every day, and yet James would stare down the hallway after her, adoration in his eyes. Why couldn't that be me? Suddenly somebody tapped my shoulder, jolting me out of my thoughts. I turned around to find... James! "Oh, hey James!" I squeaked out, trying to act casual. "Hey, Amber." He gave me a warm smile. Oh, how I loved that smile. I automatically smiled back. I opened my mouth to say something when suddenly James turned away... then I saw Ashley. Figures. With a sigh, I turned back to my locker. "Can't you see that you're everything to me?" I whispered, looking at a picture of me and James taken a couple weeks prior. "Or am I just invisible to you?"

_There's a fire inside of you,_

_That can't help but shine through._

_She's never gonna see the light,_

_No matter what you do._

_And all I think about is_

_How to make you think of me._

_And everything that we should be._

_I just wanna show you,_

_She don't even know you._

_She's never gonna love you_

_Like I want to._

_And you just see right through me,_

_But if you only knew me,_

_We could be a_

_Beautiful, miracle, unbelievable,_

_Instead of just invisible._

That night I sat at home in my room, just thinking. How could I make James see me in a different light? How I could get out of that dreaded friend zone that I so desperately needed to get out of? How could I get his eyes off of Ashley for just one second, and make him see that I was the one he should be adoring? That I was the one that would adore him right back? That I was the one who would never blow him off? With shaking hands, I got out my phone and dialed his number. After 2 rings, he picked up. "Hey, Amber!" he said. I could tell he was smiling. His voice immediately got my heart rate up. "Hey." I said, smiling as well. "Um, I was wondering if maybe I could come over?" He sounded a little confused, but never the less, he replied with, "Yeah, sure!" "I'll be over in like 10 minutes."

_Like shadows in a faded light_

_Oh, we're invisible_

_I just wanna open your eyes_

_And make you realize_

_I just wanna show you_

_She don't even know you_

_Baby, let me love you_

_Let me want you_

_You just see right through me_

_But if you only knew me_

_We could be a _

_beautiful, Miracle, Unbelievable_

_Instead of just invisible_

_She can't see the way your eyes light up when you smile_

When I got there, James was waiting outside for me. It was a perfect summer night, in the upper 70's with a steady breeze. The stars were out, and the sky was clear of any clouds. As we sat on a bench in his front yard, I looked over at him and our eyes met. My heart skipped a beat as I tried to find a way to speak. Tried to find the words to speak. James gently pushed a piece of hair out of my face as we just looked at each other. "You wanted to talk to me about something?" I cleared my throat. Why was it so hard to find any words to say? "Um, yeah. I -" When words failed me, I just did the next best thing. I put my hand on the back of his neck, and pulled him in for a long, slow kiss. When I pulled back, I could feel I was blushing furiously, and I was scolding myself silently for kissing him. I had probably just ruined my friendship, my only link, with the love of my life. It was silent for a second, then I just started babbling. "I'm sorry, I don't know what just happened. I know you like Ashley, and I just - I've liked you for a while, and I just thought maybe - please don't hate me." I finished lamely, looking at the ground. Then, out of nowhere, James' hand appeared and he tipped my chin up. After looking into each other's eyes for a second, he leaned in and we kissed again, a little more passion this time. When I pulled back, I looked at him questioningly. He shrugged, grabbed my hand, and said, "You're not invisible to me, no matter how much you think you are."

**Don't forget to review. If you do, I'll love you forever.(; I hope you liked it! 3**


	5. Chapter 5

**Hello again, everyone! Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah, I hope you all had an amazing day full of friends, family, and food! :D Here we go with another songfic, this one is Your Love is My Drug by Ke$ha.(: Warning: THIS IS SLASH. Don't like, don't read. Be sure to let me know what you think.(:**

_Maybe I need some rehab,_

_Or maybe just need some sleep_

_I've got a sick obsession,_

_I'm seeing it in my dreams_

For probably the tenth time that night, I woke up with a start. It had been there AGAIN. That was the reason I hadn't gotten any sleep for, well, months. I had an obsession... with Kendall Knight, my best friend. Each time I would have the same dream. He would come and knock on my door. I'd open, he'd be there, lust in his eyes. I'd ask him what was up. He'd growl at me not to speak. Then, he'd tackle me, and our lips would meet, our tongues fighting for dominance. It always ended with me slammed up against the wall, and our eyes would meet. Then I would wake up. It took everything I had to not kiss him, or do anything like that to Kendall. He was straight- and nobody knew I was bi. I couldn't possibly risk losing that friendship. My friendship was the only lifeline I had to my drug.

_I'm looking down every alley,_

_I'm making those desperate calls_

_Im staying up all night hoping,_

_Hit my head against the walls_

I was looking every direction I could. I was calling every girl I knew that might possibly hook up with me, even for one night, so I could maybe get some feelings for a girl.. and NOT Kendall. But whenever it was all said and done, I just had even stronger feelings for Kendall, and a reputation as a player. Because it wasn't helping, I started to just stay up at night in my bed, hoping. Hoping Kendall would somehow tell me he had the same feelings for me, hoping I could tell him, hoping if I did tell him he wouldn't think I was some creep. But then reality would come crashing down to me, leaving me feeling even worse than before. It got so bad that finally I just went up to the wall, and slammed my head against it- hard.

_What you've got boy is hard to find_

_Think about it all about it all the time_

_I'm all strung up my heart is fried_

_I just cant get you off my mind_

_Because your love, your love, your love, is my drug_

_Your love your love your love_

_I said your love, your love, your love, is my drug_

_Your love your love your love_

He was always on my mind. Always. Even when we were recording, or having dance rehearsals. Everybody was starting to get suspicious. They had no idea what was going on, thankfully, but they were starting to get suspicious anyway. It was becoming routine for Gustavo to yell, "James! Focus!" But I couldn't... not with Kendall over there, strutting around like he owned the place. Which, to me, he did. "Would you please just get off my mind?" I whispered quietly, thinking no one could hear me. Kendall did overhear me, though. "Oooh, James has a crush on a girlll!" That shattered my heart into a million pieces. I was obviously talking about him... and he had no idea. Which, that was how I wanted it. But I just wanted to throw up. And I felt like I WAS going to. So, instead of replying, I ran out of the studio, ran into the bathroom, and puked up everything in my stomach.

_Won't listen to any advice, mamma's telling me to think twice_

_But left to my own devices i'm addicted its a crisis!_

_My friends think I've gone crazy, my judgment is getting kinda hazy_

_My status is gonna be affected if I keep it up like a love sick crackhead_

The only person who knew I was bi and had a crush on Kendall was my mom. She kept telling me that I just had to try to find someone else. But I couldn't do that. Kendall meant way to much to just find someone else. He was the only one I was interested in. I was just addicted to him. I was addicted to the way his long blonde hair fell in his face, his emerald green eyes, the way he walked, the way he could put a beanie on his head and it looked perfect, how tall he was, how thin and yet still so muscular he was, the way he would touch my shoulder and ask me if I was okay, the way he somehow always seemed to know when something was wrong even if no one else did. Logan and Carlos just thought I was crazy, and liked some girl. Kendall, on the other hand, knew I was definitely falling hard for someone, and he understood it. He gave me space and didn't make me talk about it, which was nice. But I could see the worry in his eyes. I always had a strong opinion on anything, so when Logan asked me what I wanted to eat and I replied with, "Don't know, just get me something.", Kendall knew something was totally up. My judgement was getting too hazy for me to make any decisions. Even what I wanted to eat.

_What you've got boy is hard to find_

_Think about it all about it all the time_

_I'm all strung up my heart is fried_

_I just cant get you off my mind_

_Because your love, your love, your love, is my drug_

_Your love your love your love_

_I said your love, your love, your love, is my drug_

_Your love your love your love_

One day Kendall cornered me when Logan and Carlos were down at the pool and demanded to know what was going on. "James, what's going on?" "I don't know what you're talking about, Kendall." I said nervously. He reached out to gently touch my shoulder and I flinched. "Okay, that is not okay. I want to know what's going on with you, and I want to know now." Gathering up all the courage I had in my body, I just put my hand on the back of Kendall's neck and brought him in for a quick kiss. When we pulled back, his eyes were wide, and his mouth was open in shock. "What was that?" He finally managed to say. Tears welled up in my eyes. I knew I had just ruined our friendship. "I like you. A lot. You don't even know how much I like you. Kendall, you're my drug. Your love is my drug."

_I don't care what people say_

_The rush is worth the price I pay_

_I get so high when you're with me_

_But crash and crave you when you are away_

Thinking I had just ruined the friendship, you could imagine my surprise when he smiled gently and pulled me back in for a long, slow, passionate kiss. When we pulled back, this time it was me who was in shock. "What was that?" I asked. "You have no idea how long I've been waiting for you to say that." After a couple months of secretly dating, we came out to everyone, including the fans. Some of them sent some hate tweets, but I didn't care. I was finally getting the supply of my drug that I needed. I was finally getting my full supply. The rush of Kendall wrapping me in his arms and holding me tight, the way he held my hand, and most importantly the way he kissed me was totally worth it. Whenever I was with him, I felt like I was high. He always commented about how weird I was acting, and I would just go with the excuse, "You're my drug. Which means you're my high. Who needs actual drugs when I have you?"

_So I got a question;_

_Do you want to have a slumber party in my basement?_

_Do I make your heart beat like an 808 drum?_

_Is my love, your drug?_

_(huh) Your drug? (huh) your drug? (huh) your drug?_

_Is my love, your drug?_

One day Kendall could tell I was totally nervous. When I was sitting on the couch, he came up to me, sat beside me, and started rubbing my back. When I looked at him, he looked deeply into my eyes and said, "What's wrong, Jay? I'm here." That was another thing I loved about him. He was so... supportive, and loving. "Just a little nervous, that's all." His eyebrows went up as he asked, "Nervous about what?" "Uh, what I'm about to ask you." I said truthfully. His eyebrows went up even further. "And that is...?" "Would you sleep with me in my bed tonight?" His mouth upturned into a huge grin. "Of course." I smiled back. "Okay, then I have another question." "Shoot." "Is my love your drug?" After a moment of silence of him looking into my eyes, he replied with, "It always has been."

_Because your love, your love, your love, is my drug_

_Your love your love your love_

_I said your love, your love, your love, is my drug_

_Your love your love your love (x2)_

_Heyyy heyyy your love, your love,your love,your love, (whispered) is my drug_

_I like your beard_

**Blah, was that corny or what? haha(: I love corny stuff. As you can tell. Lol(: Let me know what you think!**


	6. Chapter 6

**Darn it... and I was doing so good with putting the disclaimers in at the beginning of the chapter! What is with it that makes it so hard for me to put in a disclaimer? Well, this is James (Never Change) by Allstar Weekend. I figured it would go with... well.. James. haha(: Disclaimer: No matter how much I want to own BTR and Allstar Weekend, I don't... but maybe one day... maybe...(;**

_(Hi James)_

_Known ya since we were younger_

_And even now that we're older_

_You're still a kid so curious_

_Who's peeking over my shoulder._

_You always drift around._

_You never let me down._

_I trust that you'll be yourself._

_Don't act like you're no one else._

I had known James since we were in kindergarten. From the first day we met, we were best friends. No 'cooties', or anything like that. We were friends, and that was just how it was. It became unusual to see one of us without the other. We would go over to each other's houses almost every day and just hang out... we went through middle school, and now we were finally ending high school. Even though we were seniors, he was still the same kid I knew back in elementary school. He was still so curious... whenever he had a question, he wouldn't hesitate to ask me. It didn't matter if it was the dumbest question ever, he never thought it was stupid. He just wanted more and more knowledge. The only difference was our looks. He was 'The Face' according to almost every girl in the school, and every girl was jealous of me because I was his best friend. A lot more people thought we were dating, but we knew the truth. We were best friends, and we always would be. And that was it.

He had never let me down. Whenever I needed him, he was there. He was there for me when my boyfriend had dumped me, he was there for me when I found out my dad had cancer, he was there for the little things as well. When I fell and sprained my ankle, he was the one who had picked me up and carried me home. I could always count on him to be there to pick me up when I fell. Even if I didn't tell him anything was wrong, he would always come up to me and say, "Kayleigh, what's wrong?" And when I insisted nothing was wrong, he would still keep asking me what was wrong until I told him.

One day we were just hanging out, talking. We were having a deep conversation, one of the many we had had throughout elementary, middle, and high school. When a pause came in the conversation, I said, "Don't ever change, okay? Just always stay yourself. Don't act like anyone else." With a small smile, he leaned over, pushed a piece of hair out of my face, and said, "I never will."

_You can be a space case._

_But you do it your own way._

_There's a strange sincerity_

_That makes them girls go crazy._

_Maybe it don't make sense._

_You don't have to understand._

James and I always supported each other in relationships. There was this one girl, Amy, that he had liked for a while. But he never went up and talked to her because he was too nervous. I finally convinced him to go up to her, and I was standing by my locker, smiling softly as I watched them talk. After a few minutes, James came back, glaring at me. "What?" I asked. "I totally spaced out! See, this is why I don't go talking to girls! Now I bet Amy hates me." I couldn't help it- I started laughing, which earned me another glare from him. "Listen. You don't have to worry about that. Yes, you can be a space case, but there's just this... sincerity about it. And it makes the girls go crazy." His look turned from anger to confusion. "How does that make any sense?" "Maybe it doesn't... but it's still true."

_James! Doesn't try still attracts the babes!_

_All the guys say he's got no game!_

_You can laugh but in the end now_

_Everybody's on a date with my buddy James._

_And everybody knows his name._

_He's driving everybody insane!_

_They wanna be like James._

James and I were at a school party, and we were both having a good time. He excused himself to go get something to drink, and the girl I was talking to did the same thing. While drinking my pop, I was watching him. Even though he was just walking, all the girls would turn to look, and a few even went up to him and started talking to him. Being the kind guy he was, he just smiled, introduced himself, and started talking to them. It was amazing how the girls were all attracted to him, even when he didn't try. And yet, all the guys told him he had no game. Everybody at the school knew his name - from Freshman, to the Seniors that we hang out with every day. It was obvious that the guys just wanted to be like him.

_You're talking to a lady._

_It's awkward entertainment._

_Freeze up like a popsicle_

_Then melting on the pavement._

I absolutely loved watching James talking to Amy. If he wasn't spacing, then he would just freeze. He would have no idea what to say to her, but it was obvious by his eyes that he was melting. It was... entertainment for me. I just kind of felt sorry for him, because he hated freezing up. But even though he would freeze, whenever Amy would leave, she'd smile, ruffle his hair, and tell him she'd talk to him tomorrow. She made him so happy, and it was adorable.

_It's not the clothes you wear._

_You don't have to dye that hair._

_No need to go for new._

_You should just stick with you._

One day James called me, and with no explanation just said, "Come to my house. Now." Then hung up. I was scared something terrible had happened, so it took me no time at all to get there. As I was banging on the door, he opened it, and he just looked... awful. He was all shaky, and sweaty, and just... not the James that he usually was. "Whoa, what's wrong?" I asked, immediately reaching my hand up to feel his forehead. He smacked it away. "I'm not sick." he snapped. I held my hands up in surrender. "Alright, alright... what's going on, then?" He picked up his phone, dialed his voicemail, and handed it to me. "I got this after school." Hesitantly, I put the phone to my ear and listened to the voicemail. It was from a bunch of these nasty guys from our school, and they were all calling him a gay, and a fag, and a queer. Disgusted, I deleted it from his phone and handed it back to James. Pulling him in for a hug, a tear fell and I felt it on my shirt. Shakily, he started rambling. "How can I get them to not think that? Wear different clothes? Do I not wear guy clothes? Should I dye my hair a different color, or cut it or something? Kayleigh, what do I do?" I pulled away from the hug, and made him look at me. "It's not the clothes you wear. You don't have to do anything to your hair. There's no need for you to do anything new. Just stick with you, okay? Nothing you can do can make them think any different, and they're just jealous. You're the one with all the girls after you, they're jealous they can't get any of them." With a sniffle, he nodded his head.

_Always been the nice guy_

_Living on the side lines._

_So afraid to take a chance_

_So step into the lime light._

_People like underdogs._

_Someone worth fighting for._

"Kayleigh, I don't understand." Confused, I looked at him. We'd been sitting on his couch just watching a movie, when he suddenly said that. Pausing the movie, I said. "You don't understand what?" "I don't understand why the girls like me. I've never stepped into the 'lime light' or whatever it's called. I've always just been living on the side lines, heck I'm too scared to talk to these girls! I've been so afraid to take a chance in talking to them. I'm so scared they're going to call me gay or something." "Listen. Girls like underdogs. Someone that's worth fighting for. They don't always want a showy guy that loves the spotlight. And that's you! You're totally worth fighting for. That's why they like you."

_James! Doesn't try still attracts the babes!_

_All the guys say he's got no game!_

_You can laugh but in the end now_

_Everybody's on a date with my buddy James._

_And everybody knows his name._

_He's driving everybody insane!_

_They wanna be like James._

_When you walk into a room,_

_Makin' everybody swoon._

_So invincible._

_The writing's on the wall (yea)_

It was amazing how whenever he would walk into a room, at least one girl would swoon. When he was walking down the hallway, girls would all watch him, then once he had passed, they would turn and giggle to their friends. Some of them even shyly said, "Hi James." And silently freaked out when he would reply. He was invincible. All the other guys were jealous because they wanted to be like him... they wanted to be him.

_James! Doesn't try still attracts the babes!_

_All the guys say he's got no game!_

_You can laugh but in the end now_

_Everybody's on a date with my buddy James._

_James! Doesn't try still attracts the babes!_

_All the guys say he's got no game!_

_You can laugh but in the end now_

_Everybody's on a date with my buddy James._

_And everybody knows his name. (Ladies)_

_He's driving everybody insane!_

_They wanna be like James._

Everyday, I was so thankful that James was my friend, and he was thankful that I was his friend. I had been there for him when he hadn't been feeling good about himself, and his self esteem was low. He kept thanking me, even though it had been a long time since it had happened. I was just glad I had managed to convince him that what everybody said was a lie.

**Okay, well, that wasn't a romantic one, that was just supposed to be a friendship one. But I'm not sure how I did... I feel this wasn't very good. anyway, let me know what you thought, and don't forget to request a song, or a quote, or a character! haha(: i'll do anything.**


	7. Chapter 7

**Sooo, this is like, my first request! Thanks to Valyn Henderson(; This is Invisible by BTR. Disclaimer: I. Don't. Own. Them. Don't you get that yet? I also don't own Valyn... hahaha(: I hope you enjoy!**

_Do you ever wonder, when you listen to the thunder_

_And your world just feels so small?_

_Put yourself on the line and time after time_

_Keep feeling inside that they don't know you're alive_

_Are you out of your mind mind or just invisible?_

*Valyn's POV*

I loved thunderstorms. I always had, and I always would. They really put things into perspective for me. I had a... different way of thinking about things, I guess. I thought about the little stuff, details mattered to me. I just saw things in a different way. Thunderstorms in particular really made me think hard. They made me feel so small. They made me see the world was actually extremely big, and not as small as I thought it was. I was looking out the slider of 2J, just watching the rain. As I put my hand up to the glass, I whispered, "Am I invisible?" I would always put myself on the line. I did it multiple times, each and every day, and it seemed like still no one noticed me. I lived with Kendall, Logan, James and Carlos, so of course they knew me, but I still felt like I was invisible to them. Like I didn't even matter. Like I never had mattered. Sometimes I felt like I was in the middle of a crowded room, screaming at the top of my lungs, and no one even looked up.

_But I won't let you fall_

_I'll see you, through them all_

_And I just wanna let you know_

_Oh, when the lights go down in the city_

_You'll be right there shining bright_

_You're a star and the sky's the limit_

_And I'll be right by your side_

_Oh, you know, you're not invisible to me_

_(Oh, you know) you're not gonna be invisible_

*Logan's POV*

I saw Valyn watching the storm. She just stood there, staring. Then I heard her say, "Am I invisible?" A wave of guilt washed over me. I had thought about it many times before. How she always seemed so withdrawn, how whenever she would stand out, she would try and shrink back, like she didn't think she mattered. And apparently I had assumed correct. The next night, when it wasn't raining, I decided I would treat Valyn to a special surprise. "Hey, Valyn." I said quietly. She quickly looked over at me. "Yeah, Logan?" "Come with me." I gave her a sly smile, and she just got up. She had always trusted me. That was something that I thought was really cool. Valyn and all of BTR were close, but she and I were a lot closer than any of the other guys. I took her up to the rooftop of the Palm Woods. As we were up there, she rubbed her arms. "Logan, what are we doing up here?" I took my jacket off and gave it to her. "I heard what you said when you were watching the storm last night. And no, you're not invisible." I saw her blush, but she didn't say anything. Grabbing her hand, I led her over to the very edge of the rooftop, and had her stand there, me behind her, my hands on her waist. "I won't let you fall. I just wanted to let you know... see how the lights are going down in the city right now?" She nodded her head, staying silent. "Well, when the lights go down, you'll still be shining bright. You're a star, you know that? The sky's the limit for you, and I'll be right by your side. You're not invisible to me."

_Do you ever think of, what you're standing at the brink of_

_Feel like giving up, but you just can't walk away_

_Night after night, always trying to decide_

_Are you gonna speak out or get lost in the crowd_

_Do you take a chance or stay invisible?_

*Logan's POV*

Sometimes I felt like giving up. Valyn just wouldn't believe me when I told her she wasn't invisible to me. I took her up to the rooftop, I wrote her a song and sang it to her, I did so many things, and she just wouldn't believe me. I felt like giving up, but I just couldn't walk away. She deserved to know she mattered. What could I do to make her see that? Night after night I was always laying in bed, trying to think of something extremely extravagant I could do to make her noticed. But what could I do? She never spoke out, she preferred to get lost in the crowd. She just stayed invisible.

_But I won't let you fall_

_I'll see you, through them all_

_And I just wanna let you know_

_Oh, when the lights go down in the city_

_You'll be right there, shining bright_

_You're a star and the sky's the limit_

_And I'll be right by your side_

_Oh, you know, you're not invisible to me_

_Oh, you know, you're not gonna be invisible_

_Gotta look far, I'll be where you are_

_I wish you could see what I see_

_So don't ask why, just look inside_

_Baby it's all you need_

_And I don't understand why you won't (you won't)_

_Take my hand and go_

_Cause you're so beautiful_

I had it. I had figured out what I had to do in order for her to see that I noticed her, that I always had noticed her, that I always would notice her. But how was I going to plan this out so that it would be a surprise? If she knew what I was up to, she'd never go for it. She wouldn't let me do it. After some careful planning, I finally figured it out.

It was a couple weeks later, the day of our first concert in the Better With U Tour. We were in San Diego. Valyn was going to be coming on tour with us, and I figured it was the perfect time because everybody from the Palm Woods was going to be there. We had just finished the song Music Sounds Better With U, and we were about to start Invisible. I gave the guys a look, and I quickly jogged off the stage to backstage where Valyn was watching a TV screen of the concert. She looked up at me with panicked eyes. "What are you doing? You have to get back out there!" So instead of explaining, I grabbed her hand and ran back out on stage. "Logan, Logan, no-no, no!" But it was too late. She was already out there. "Dang it." she said quietly. I ignored her. "Everybody, this is the beautiful and talented Valyn Henderson. She's been feeling a little invisible lately, so I thought we'd sing her a song." We sat her down on a stool like we always did with the Worldwide girl, then we sang.

_And every time that_

_Oh, when the lights go down in the city_

_You'll be right there shining bright_

_You're a star and the sky's the limit_

_And I'll be right by your side_

_Oh, you know, you're not invisible to me_

_(Oh, you know) you're not gonna be invisible_

_Oh, when the lights go down in the city_

_You'll be right there shining bright (shinging bright)_

_You're a star and the sky's the limit (Sky's the limit, yeah)_

_And I'll be right by your side_

_Oh, you know, you're not invisible to me_

_(Oh, you know) you're not gonna be invisible_

As we finished up the song, I stood up, and told Valyn. "You're not invisible to me, love." Then, in front of everyone, I leaned in and kissed her. "Will you be my girlfriend?" She was already in tears just by the song, so this just made her cry harder. All she did was nod her head furiously. "Yes." Then we kissed again.

**Hahah, awww.(: Corny. Romantic. Sappy. My kinda thing, right? I hope you liked it Valyn.(: Everybody else, remember to request something if you'd like to see it! It doesn't have to be BTR, or Taylor Swift, or anybody. The next one I'm doing is by Taio Cruz, so you can ask for pretty much anything.(: Let me know what you think!**


	8. Chapter 8

**Woohoo, second request! This is Hangover to Taio Cruz. Thanks to mavk4444 for always reviewing and requesting! You all mean so much to me(: I'm glad y'all are liking this! Okay, so, there's a flashback in here, and I know most of the time those are in italics. But because the song is in italics, I figured it would be confusing, so i just put the flashback underlined, instead. Disclaimer: I don't own Carlos, alright? I may want to, but I don't! Quit crushing my dreams!**

_I got a hangover, wo-oh!_

_I've been drinking too much for sure_

_I got a hangover, wo-oh!_

I woke up with a pounding in my head. I had never had a headache this bad before. I knew that if I opened my eyes, the light would blind me, so I kept them shut instead. With a groan, I rolled over to try and fall back asleep. But instead, I got the sudden urge to throw up. I flew out of bed and sprinted to the bathroom, getting to the toilet just in time to throw up everything in my stomach. Ugh, I definitely had a hangover. As I stood up, the room was spinning, and I had to grab a hold of the counter in order to not crash to the floor. Once I got back in bed, I laid down, trying to remember what had happened last night. I had drank way too much, that was obvious.

_I got an empty cup_

_Pour me some more_

_So I can go until I blow up, eh_

_And I can drink until I throw up, eh_

_And I don't ever ever want to grow up, eh_

_I wanna keep it going, keep keep it going, going, going, going..._

*Flashback*

Me and the guys were hosting a party. It was the best party we'd ever had- me and James definitely lived up to the names of the Hollywood Super Party Kings of Hollywood! Everybody had been there... Lucy, Stephanie, the Jennifers... even Bitters was there for a while! As the night went on, I was drinking more and more, and I felt great. The high was just so amazing I never wanted to stop drinking. So when my cup was empty, I would go up and pour myself some more. I could drink until I threw up, and when I threw up I would just start drinking again! It was an endless cycle. I never wanted to grow up, I just wanted to keep it going. I wanted to keep the drinking going, I wanted to keep this party going. I never wanted to go back to reality again. I was having way too much fun in fantasy-land.

_I got a little bit trashed last night, night_

_I got a little bit wasted, yeah yeah_

_I got a little bit mashed last night, night_

_I got a little shhh faced it, yeah yeah_

"I definitely got a little bit trashed and wasted last night. " I said, but I didn't even realize I had said it out loud until James chuckled. I jumped, because I didn't know he was awake. "Carlitos, you got more than a little bit trashed last night, bro. You got a LOT trashed. Even I didn't get that wasted. And you know how bad I get wasted." I groaned up at the ceiling. "Ugh, my headache is awful. But last night was amazing." James looked at me, eyebrows raised. "Do you even remember anything from last night?" he asked with a laugh. "Yes!" I said defensively. "I remember the feeling, I remember drinking, and drinking, and drinking..." James rolled his eyes, and went to walk out of our bedroom. "Just try and get some sleep, 'Litos. It's the best thing that'll make your headache go away."

Oh oh oh oh oh

I'm on the roof

If you don't know

Well now you know

I got a hangover, wo-oh!

I've been drinking too much for sure

I got a hangover, wo-oh!

But I didn't feel like sleeping anymore. I wasn't tired, I just wanted to get up and do something. So, without even knowing where I was going, I let my legs lead me to the roof of the palm woods. There I was just sitting, thinking. I didn't even realize that hours had passed by until Logan found me up there. "What are you doing up here? Why didn't you answer your phone? We've been worried sick!" ...My phone? I grabbed it and saw 10 unread text messages and 5 missed calls. "Sorry, Logie." I said innocently. With a sigh, he came and sat down next me. "Carlos, what has gotten into you lately?" "I have a hangover." I said simply. Logan looked at me for a second, then just started laughing.

_I got an empty cup_

_Pour me some more_

_So I can go until I blow up, eh_

_And I can drink until I throw up, eh_

_And I don't ever ever want to grow up, eh_

_I wanna keep it going, keep keep it going, come on!_

Slowly, everything was coming back to me. I had already had maybe 20 drinks. I didn't think it was that many, but whatever. I was feeling the best I had ever felt in my entire life. Everybody was dancing, having a good time. So, while one of the songs was playing, I got up on the table and started dancing. Everybody all laughed, and started cheering me on. "Yeaaah, go Carlos!" Then somebody passed me their drink, and while I was dancing, I just chugged it. When everybody saw me do that, I was suddenly being passed tons and tons of drinks. I drank, and I drank, right up until I threw up, into the cup I had been drinking out of. But once I had thrown up, I told somebody else to pass me their drink, and they did, and the cycle started all over again. "Keep this going!" I yelled!

_Drink up, cause a party ain't a party til you ride all through it_

_End up on the floor can't remember you clueless_

_Officer like What the hell is you doing_

_Stumbling, fumbling, you wonder what? come again_

_Give me Henn, give me gin, give me liquor, give me champagne_

_Bubbles til the end_

A party wasn't a party unless you were drinking. It was as simple as that. If you weren't drinking, then you really couldn't enjoy the party to it's full amount! I was dancing on the table, and somehow I ended up on the floor. Dazed, I stood up. I was clueless as to how I had gotten there. Wasn't I just on the table...? But then again, I wasn't sure of anything anymore. I had no idea what was going on, I had no idea who any of these people were, and I was perfectly fine with it. Somebody from the apartment next door that was a total party pooper had called the cops. When he saw how weird I was acting, the officer came up to me. "What the hell are you doing, son?" "I'm partying it up! I'm living large!" I said with a grin, then quickly pushed past him. I didn't want to have to do a breath test, or whatever those things are called. I could tell I was wasted. Stumbling through the crowd, I finally made it up to wear the drinks were. "Give me Henn, give me gin, give me liquor, give me champagne, just give me something!" I pleaded, out of breath. The guy that was pouring drinks nodded hesitantly, and gave me a mixture of some stuff, which I immediately gulped down.

_What happens after that, if you inspired it til I'm ten_

_I call my homie Taio, we can all sip again_

_Get it in and again and again_

_Wasted so what, irrelevant_

_We're kicked to the head, who's selling it_

_I got a hangover, that's my medicine_

_Don't mean like I said, I'm too intelligent_

_A little jack can't hurt this veteran_

_I show up but I never throw up, so let the drinks go up, go up_

Kendall, or at least, I think it was Kendall, came up to me. "Dude, you're wasted!" his eyes were wide. "Oh, sooo what?" I asked, totally carefree. "That's irrelevant. I'll get a hangover, tha'll be my medicine." I was a veteran in drinking. I had been wasted many times before, the guys had just never seen me get this wasted. Kendall was holding a drink in his hand. "Oh, dude, can I have a drink of that?" He looked at me for a second. "I don't know if that's such a good idea, Carlos." "Oh c'mon, bro. It can't hurt." A little drink couldn't hurt this veteran! "But dude, what if you throw up?" "Dude, c'mon. I never throw up. Just let the drinks go up! I can handle myself, Kendall. You don't have to always protect me. I'm not a little kid!" Finally, with a nod, he handed me his drink, which I took a big drink of, and finished it off. "There you go." "Dude, you totally chugged it!" "Yup."

_I got a hangover, wo-oh!_

_I've been drinking too much for sure_

_I got a hangover, wo-oh!_

_I got an empty cup_

_Pour me some more_

_So I can go until I blow up, eh_

_And I can drink until I throw up, eh_

_And I don't ever ever want to grow up, eh_

_I wanna keep it going, keep keep it going, come on!_

So, the morning after the party was pretty much spent in bed, trying to get the room to stop spinning, and trying not to throw up. But that party was awesome, and I don't regret a single thing. I honestly couldn't wait to do it again!

**Okay, so, I'm kind of worried about this one. I've never written anything like it, so I'm sorry if it's awful. Mavk4444, I hope I didn't let you down! Especially because you told me you knew this would be awesome! haha(: Anyway, let me know what you think, and be sure to request something!**


	9. Chapter 9

**Another request! Yay!(: Okay, so, I'll just say right now that this song wasn't what I was expecting at all... I've never heard it, so when I heard it was called 'Smile' I naturally thought it was a happy, nice song, right? ...No. xD So, yes, this is 'Smile' by Lily Allen! Disclaimer: No, I do not own the song, or the singer, or the other singer I'm going to be writing about. What was his name again...? Oh, yeah. James. 3**

_When you first left me I was wanting more_

_But you were fucking that girl next door, what cha do that for (what cha do that for)_

_When you first left me I didn't know what to say_

_I never been on my own that way, just sat by myself all day_

Me and James had been going out for over a year. We were so happy together! ...At least, I was happy with him. And I thought he was happy with me. I mean, why would you give a year of your life to someone that you're not happy with? The thought didn't make sense to me. But, I guess James never did make sense to me. One day he just told me he didn't want to go out anymore. And he left. I kept wanting more. I wanted more of his love, I wanted more of his kisses, I wanted more of his hugs, I wanted more of him! I just wanted him in general. But, he was over having sex with the girl in the apartment next door, 2K. When he came home, he found me sitting in the living room, watching TV. I turned around when I heard the door open, and we looked at each other for a minute. I wanted to scream "What would you do that for? Why would you do that to me?" But, I didn't. I didn't even know what to say. And if I had known what to say, I wouldn't have known how to say it. I couldn't get my mouth to work. My throat would close up, and I would be fighting back tears, and trying to swallow the growing lump in my throat. I had never been on my own that way before. Even though I hadn't been alone all day, because Kendall, Logan and Carlos had been home and watching TV with me, I felt like I was all alone in my own little world. Just... alone. With nobody there to try and console me. They didn't even know what was going on. Eventually, they left to go to lunch after I declined their invitation to go with them. So, I just sat by myself all day.

_I was so lost back then_

_But with a little help from my friends_

_I found a light in the tunnel at the end_

_Now you're calling me up on the phone_

_So you can have a little whine and a moan_

_And it's only because you're feeling alone_

_At first when I see you cry,_

_yeah it makes me smile, yeah it makes my smile_

_At worst I feel bad for a while,_

_but then I just smile I go ahead and smile_

I was at my friend Jarilyn's house because I needed to talk about it. I wanted to get back up on my feet, but I knew before I could do that, I eventually had to tell someone. Right when I had finished explaining, and Jarilyn was starting to give me advice on what to do, my phone rang. I sighed when I saw who it was. "Hello?" "Rose?" I smirked when I heard he was crying. This hadn't been the first time he had called me. He always called me so he could complain, and whine, and moan, because he was feeling alone. The girl next door in 2K had told him to never come back to her house after her parents caught him and her having sex. So, when I saw him cry, I'd admit it. It made me smile. It never made me feel extremely guilty. The worst it made me feel was bad, but it was only for a little while. Then I'd just end up smiling. It was his fault, it's not like I ended the relationship!

_Whenever you see me you say that you want me back_

_And I tell you it don't mean jack, no it don't mean jack_

_I couldn't stop laughing, no I just couldn't help myself_

_See you messed up my mental health I was quite unwell_

I came home from Jarilyn's house the next day to find James sitting in the living room alone. "Where are the rest of the guys?" I asked once I had taken my shoes off and walked into the living room. James shrugged. "I don't know. But Rose, please, I want you back." I couldn't help it - I started laughing. "That doesn't mean _shit_, James." I couldn't even stop laughing for a second. I knew it wasn't something to be laughing about, but for some reason it was just so... funny! It was then that I fully realized he had totally messed up my mental health, and I was unwell. I had figured that out before, but it really hit just how messed up I was at that point. He looked at me like I was crazy. "Why are you laughing? This isn't a joke! I want you back! Are you insane?" In that split second, I stopped laughing and looked seriously at him. "I don't know, am I insane? If I am, it's all because of you. I bet that makes you feel guilty, doesn't it? Knowing that you totally messed me up? Knowing that you totally drove me insane? Or, maybe it doesn't make you feel guilty. Maybe it gives you pleasure. Maybe that's why you insist on torturing me."

_I was so lost back then_

_But with a little help from my friends_

_I found a light in the tunnel at the end_

_Now you're calling me up on the phone_

_So you can have a little whine and a moan_

_And it's only because you're feeling alone_

_At first when I see you cry,_

_yeah it makes me smile, yeah it makes my smile_

_At worst I feel bad for a while,_

_but then I just smile I go ahead and smile_

_ lalala_

_At first when I see you cry,_

_yeah it makes me smile, yeah it makes my smile_

_At worst I feel bad for a while,_

_but then I just smile I go ahead and smile_

It took a while for me to get back up on my feet, but eventually I did find the light at the end of the tunnel. I figured out how to make him think I didn't care. I figured out how to laugh again. I figured out that whenever he said he wanted me back, it was just because he was looking for someone for sex. I figured out how to get the light back in my eyes. All of these things were extremely important, but there was one that was the most important... I figured out how to smile.

**Whoo! Sorry it was a little later than expected. It's just been so hectic with school finally back in session... I don't have very much time to write anymore. Anyways. I hope you liked it! Once again, thanks to mavk4444 for requesting. :D**


	10. Chapter 10

**Woohoo! Another request! This is an earlier update than I expected...(: Thanks to mavk4444 for your amazing responses, all of your requests, and all of your support throughout all this! You're amazing, and I love our little conversations we have!(: Anyway, this is Pokerface by Lady Gaga. Disclaimer: Don't the guy... Ken, right? ...wait, no, Kendall.(; Don't own the song, either! Just to let you know, I did change some of the words in the song to fit Kendall's gender.**

_Mum mum mum mah_

_Mum mum mum mah_

_I wanna hold em' like they do in Texas please_

_Fold em' let em' hit me raise it baby stay with me (I love it)_

_Luck and intuition play the cards with Spades to start_

_And after she's been hooked I'll play the one that's on her heart_

I went into the casino, my heart pounding. I'd been there multiple times, but every time the adrenaline just started rushing through me, I got excited all over again. Card games. Those were mine. I was boss. Nobody could beat me. I was known all over the casino as "Card-Playing Kendall." When I got in there, I immediately walked over to my favorite Texas Hold'Em table, bought some chips, and was dealt the cards. I raised $5. We started playing, and I started with my spades. I saw one of the regulars, Kelsey there. We had played multiple times, and I had a little bit of a thing for her. It was the intensity of the card game in her eyes, how she bit her lip when she was concentrating hard. I could tell I had her hooked, just by the way her eyes lit up when she saw me approaching the table. "Hey Kendall." she said with a small smile. I smiled back. "Hey Kelsey." After I got her hooked with the Spade, then I played the heart, as a symbol. I could tell she understood when she laughed.

_Oh, oh, oh, oh, ohhhh, oh-oh-e-oh-oh-oh_

_I'll get her hot, show her what I've got_

_Oh, oh, oh, oh, ohhhh, oh-oh-e-oh-oh-oh,_

_I'll get her hot, show her what I've got_

_Can't read my,_

_Can't read my_

_No she can't read my poker face_

_(he's got to love nobody)_

_Can't read my_

_Can't read my_

_No she can't read my poker face_

_(he's got to love nobody)_

_P-p-p-poker face, p-p-poker face_

_(Mum mum mum mah)_

_P-p-p-poker face, p-p-poker face_

_(Mum mum mum mah)_

We stopped playing Texas Hold'Em and started playing poker. I could see the way Kelsey would scan my face, trying to find anything that would give her a hint of what I had. But I had an amazing poker face. That was one of the things that made me so awesome at cards, and that nobody could beat me. Nobody had as good of a poker face as me. She couldn't read my poker face. I just looked calmly back at her, no expression on my face, and when she finally looked away, I could see a confused expression on her face. I smirked. I had always managed to make her confused. I raised, she raised. We kept going back and forth until finally she gave in. She laid her cards first, and had a full house. With a smirk, she folded her hands and looked at me, waiting for me to go. Still completely expressionless, I laid down my hand - straight flush. Her mouth dropped open, and it was my turn to smirk. "I'll show you what I got." I announced cockily, and she rolled her eyes.

_I wanna roll with her a hard pair we will be_

_A little gambling is fun when you're with me I love it)_

_Russian Roulette is not the same without a gun_

_And baby when it's love if its not rough it isn't fun, fun_

After gambling and having fun for a few hours, we finally stopped playing and went to go get a drink. While I was drinking my scotch, she was drinking her beer, we started talking. With the little bit of alcohol in my system, I was already feeling great, and I decided that I'd flirt with her a little bit. "So, you looking for a boyfriend?" I asked with a wink. She rolled her eyes and smirked at the reference to Boyfriend. "I don't know... I don't know if I can go out with someone that takes all of my money in a card game. That'd be pretty rough." I pulled her close and whispered in her ear, "If love isn't rough, it's not fun, baby." Kelsey shivered, pulled back and smiled at me. "Get over yourself, Knight." she said teasingly.

_Oh, oh, oh, oh, ohhhh, oh-oh-e-oh-oh-oh_

_I'll get her hot, show her what I've got_

_Oh, oh, oh, oh, ohhhh, oh-oh-e-oh-oh-oh,_

_I'll get her hot, show her what I've got_

_P-p-p-poker face, p-p-poker face_

_(Mum mum mum mah)_

_P-p-p-poker face, p-p-poker face_

_(Mum mum mum mah)_

_I won't tell you that I love you_

_Kiss or hug you_

_Cause I'm bluffin' with my muffin_

_I'm not lying I'm just stunnin' with my love-glue-gunning_

_Just like a bro in the casino_

_Take your bank before I pay you out_

_I promise this, promise this_

_Check this hand cause I'm marvelous_

_[x3]_

After she said that, she walked back over to the poker table and motioned for me to join her. I quickly followed, and we started playing again. "You may want to stop playing after this hand." I said cockily. "I don't know... I have a pretty good hand myself." "Oh, really, is that so?" She laid down first, and had a straight flush. "Read them and weep." oh, now who was getting cocky? But not for long... I laid down my hand- "Check it. Royal flush. Aren't I marvelous?" "Ugh!" she slammed her hands down on the table. "How do you do this, Kendall?" "Remember? Card-playing Kendall? No one can beat me, because I'm just that AWESOME?" Kelsey gave up on playing cards after that, so we just stood around, drinking and talking. Finally she decided she ought to get home. "Love ya, Kendall." I just smiled and told her bye. She left, and I stood there thinking. I wouldn't tell her that i loved her, because that'd just be bluffing. I wouldn't kiss or hug her, either. It wasn't exactly that I was lying, I did love her, it was just too soon for that. Besides, I was too stunning to limit myself to one girl quite so fast.

_P-p-p-poker face, p-p-poker face_

_(Mum mum mum mah)_

_P-p-p-poker face, p-p-poker face_

_(Mum mum mum mah)_

**Hahaha, cocky Kendall! I will admit, this was hilarious, and extremely fun to write. I loved writing the cocky parts of it, and one of my friends and I are ALWAYS sarcastically arguing with each other. (It's like our first language), so it was pretty easy to write this. Anyway, let me know what you think, and don't forget to request!**


	11. Chapter 11

**Another request! You guys are awesome, the requests just keep coming in! I have this one, then I have 2 more to write! I'm sorry if it takes a little while to get them all up, but unfortunately I do have school. And I'm in a play! Just thought I'd tell you that. xD Anyway. Without further ado, I give you... Quiet, Please! By Heffron Drive.(: Disclaimer: Oh man. Heffron Drive. How I love thee. To bad I don't own you...**

_Step one begins again at an argument_

_But we're still just friends_

_We're eye to eye but we don't know why_

_Everything just comes and goes when_

_And I really want to be with you_

_And you really want to be with me, so badly_

_But I can't control the way my heart feels when she looks right at me_

Ashley and I were hanging out at 2J, just talking, when suddenly it turned into an argument. We argued... all the time. We almost never went a day without arguing at least once, but it was never anything big. We always got over it quickly, and a lot of the arguments were just little teasing, sarcastic arguments. Everybody thought we were dating, because of all the times we teased each other. But, we were still just friends. We had discussed it before- us dating, I mean. We both wanted to be with each other extremely badly. But, I couldn't control how I felt when my girlfriend, Faith, looked at me. I couldn't help but be with her. If only I could be with two people at once. I loved Faith, and I loved Ashley. And I had told Ashley that, hoping she wouldn't be mad at me. I knew even though it wouldn't probably break her heart, I had to tell her that I was staying with Faith. But, instead of getting mad, she just gently stroked my cheek with her thumb. "It's alright, Kendall. I understand."

_You should know that you're the something that I hold onto_

_When I'm left with nothing and_

_Eventually we will come back to each other_

_But for now we're just not right_

_I'm lying again_

We were sitting on the couch, her head on my shoulder, my arm wrapped around her shoulders. When the movie was over, Ashley looked up at me. "You know, you're the something that I hold onto when I'm left with nothing. You're the only thing I can count on staying. You and Faith are the only things I have left, and if Faith and I break up, you'll be the only thing I have left. I can always count on you to be here. Right?" My eyes met hers as she looked back at me seriously. "Of course you can always count on me. Even if we did go out and broke up, I would be here for you. Our friendship means to much. I just wish..." she trailed off, not finishing the sentence. I understood what she meant. "Yeah... eventually we'll come back to each other, but for now we're just not right." She gave me a sad smile. "You're lying again."

_Every time you come around here_

_Watch my knees hit the ground_

_In the window, can't you see me_

_In the end it's all the same thing_

_We'll make it till tomorrow and past the sorrow_

_Hope we never fall apart_

_I hope we never fall apart_

Every time I saw Ashley, I could see she was sadder and sadder. I could understand why. Seeing someone that you're so close to, that you want to go out with, that wants to go out with you, and not being able to have them was awful. But she still stuck with me. Every time she came around, my knees would metaphorically hit the ground. She made me weak, she was so beautiful. She always took my breath away. It didn't matter that she was shy- I thought it was adorable when she'd shyly tuck a strand of her dark brown hair behind her ear when she was uncomfortable. Even though she was getting more and more sad, we'd make it till tomorrow. We'd make it past the sorrow. I just hoped that we would never fall apart. Our friendship was too much to just fall apart because we both liked each other, and we couldn't be together. I just wanted her to stay, I wanted her to never leave. I wanted us to never fall apart.

_So you wanna stay with me_

_And its time that we sit and talk in the bedroom_

_And I don't wanna fight_

_So we hold on tight_

_To the words that I say when I thank you_

_You come around every once in a while_

_When you leave, you come back_

_And we'll roll at the beach babe_

_You sneak out through the bedroom door_

_And we laugh because we always do the same thing_

We hung out as often and as long as we could. So, when I invited her to spend the night, naturally she agreed. That night, at around midnight, we were sitting up, talking. For some reason, tonight was different. I didn't want to fight, and I had the feeling Ashley didn't either. We didn't want to tease, we didn't want to be sarcastic, we just wanted to be there for each other, talking. So, instead of fighting, we held tight to what I was saying. "Thank you. For everything. For being there, for understanding that I love you, but I also love Faith. Even though you're getting more and more sad, yes, I can see it, you're still with me. You still haven't left me. You're the only constant I can totally count on in my life. So, thank you." She blushed, and I smiled and pushed smoothed her dark brown piece of hair out of her face.

Whenever she left, she would come back soon. Sometimes she would have to go run and errand, have to go home, have to just do something, but she would come back right after. That's how often we hung out, we were almost never apart. One day when Ashley came back from going to the grocery store, she met me in my room. "Wanna go to the beach?" I asked quietly. Her eyes lit up. "Yes!" "Shh!" I warned. "If the guys hear us, they'll want to come, and I was thinking it could be just me and you." Realization came over her and she nodded silently. "Alright, let's sneak out..." After we had managed to get out of the house without James, Logan or Carlos seeing us, we laughed. We had done it before... we always snuck out.

_Who'd have known if we'd gone forever_

_That I'd write you a verse that you found clever_

_I'm saying it poetically_

_In hopes you don't see what I mean_

_So read between the lines_

_I'm lying again_

_Every time you come around here_

_Watch my knees hit the ground_

_In the window, can't you see me_

_In the end it's all the same thing_

_We'll make it till tomorrow and past the sorrow_

_Hope we never fall apart, I hope we never fall apart_

Honestly, I was starting to debate over Faith and Ashley. I mean, yeah, I loved Faith, but I could totally count on Ashley. But, Ashley and I were such good friends... what happened if we dated, then we broke up? She told me she'd still be there even if we broke up, but didn't all couples say that? And most of the time it never worked out. She'd be heartbroken if we broke up, and so would I. But could I handle her continuing to get more and more sad each day? Would it be worth it for her to maybe have a few extremely happy months only to be sad and heartbroken once again? Or should I just continue to make her sad? Could I handle making her sad? All of these thoughts just kept repeating themselves, in an endless cycle. I could never get her out of my head. Shouldn't that be Faith? Shouldn't I be endlessly thinking about my girlfriend, not my best friend...?

I wanted to write her a verse of a song that would somehow portray my feelings, but not actually let her know how I felt. Finally, after weeks of trying to write it, trying to figure out what to say, I finally had it. So, that day when Ashley came over, I quickly brought her into my room, sat her down on my bed, and grabbed my guitar. "I have something I want to sing to you. Let me know what you think, alright?" With a small smile, she nodded. So, I started singing. "You're my cover, cover girl. I think you're the super star, yeah you are, why don't you know? Yeah, you're so pretty that it hurts, it's what's underneath the skin, the beauty that shines within. You're the only one that rocks my world, my cover girl." Tears filled up in her eyes, and I couldn't really tell what it was from. Happiness? Sadness? Who knew? Anyway. "That was so sweet, Kendall. It's amazing."

_Every time you come around here_

_Watch my knees hit the ground_

_In the window, can't you see me_

_In the end it's all the same thing_

_We will make it till tomorrow and past the sorrow_

_Hope we never fall apart_

_I hope we never fall apart_

_I'm lying again_

_I-I-I-I'm lying again_

_I'm lying again _

_I'm lying again_

_Every time you come around here_

_Watch my knees hit the ground_

_In the window, can't you see me_

_In the end it's all the same thing_

_We'll make it till tomorrow and past the sorrow_

_Hope we never fall apart_

_I hope we never fall apart_

_Every time you come around here_

_Watch my knees hit the ground_

_In the window, can't you see me_

_In the end it's all the same thing_

_We will make it till tomorrow and past the sorrow_

_Hope we never fall apart_

_I hope we never fall apart_

_I'm lying again_

_(You should know that you're the something that I hold onto_

_When I'm left with nothing and_

_Eventually we will come back to each other_

_But for now we're just not right_

_I'm lying again) _

Even though I was debating between Faith and Ashley, I decided to think about it before I actually made any decisions. I would just have to keep debating, day and night, until I decided on the best plan of action. Break Faith's heart and make Ashley happy? Or continue breaking Ashley's heart and making Faith happy? But, I decided I would never say "But for now we're just not right." because, well, then I'd be lying again.

**Well, Ashley, I hope you liked it(: I'm sorry about the end part, I don't think it's very good. But, the last few verses are pretty much just all the same thing, so there's not a lot of things to write about... anyway. Let me know what you think, and be sure to request! All I need is the song, character, if it's a love song- slash or no slash?, if slash, other member. Anyway. Reviewww, please!**


	12. Chapter 12

**Okay, next request! Whoo, two in one day! When I had school and play practice! yes, I am beast, feel free to admit it.(; Anyway. Here, I give you That Should Be Me by Justin Bieber! Speaking of Justin Bieber, I got his perfume todayyyy.(: Disclaimer: Ohh, Logan. How I love your brains and charming good looks... if only I owned you.(;**

_Everybody's laughing in my mind,_

_Rumors spreading 'bout this other guy,_

_Do you do what you did when you_

_did with me?_

_Does he love you the way I can?_

_Did you forget all the plans _

_that you made with me? _

_'cause baby I didn't!_

Looking in the mirror, I could see the troubled look in my brown eyes. With a sigh, I ran a hand through my black hair and wondered what could've happened. Alyssa and i had been so happy together, when suddenly she broke up with me. Apparently there was another guy she was interested in. I had been hearing rumors about them, day and night. I tried to shrug it off, tried to act like it didn't faze me, but the truth was... it did. It was all I could think about. Did he love her the way I did? With his entire heart? Would he give her everything, like I would? Would he do anything to make her smile, like I would? Had Alyssa forgotten all the plans that she had made with me? We had dreamed together... we had shared our life goals together... how could she have forgotten? I sure didn't!

We had our life all set out. We would grow up and get married, I'd become a doctor, she'd become a journalist. With our wages, we'd buy a small, two-bedroom house. We actually had one already picked out, and we were just waiting for the day we could put a down payment on it. When we were ready, we'd have a baby boy, then a baby girl. Now suddenly all that was thrown away, and she was off making plans with some other guy. And all I could think was, "That should be me."

_That should be me,_

_Holdin' your hand,_

_That should be me_

_Makin' you laugh,_

_That should be me,_

_This is so sad,_

_That should be me,_

_That should be me,_

_That should be me,_

_Feelin' your kiss,_

_That should be me,_

_Buyin' you gifts,_

_This is so wrong,_

_I can't go on,_

_Till you believe that,_

_That should be me_

One day, I saw Alyssa. It made me realize just how much I missed her. I already knew I missed her a lot, but seeing her made the pain a million times worse. I was just about to go up to her and talk to her, when another guy came up. She smiled brightly as the guy kissed her on the cheek, and tucked a strand of red hair behind her ear. My heart sank. So this was the guy I'd been hearing all about. He took her hand, and they just sat there for a while, talking. Every so often he'd say something, a teasing smile on his face, and she'd start laughing. That should be me. I should be the one holding her hand, I should be the one making her laugh. Why wasn't that me? What did this guy have that I didn't? I had given Alyssa my whole heart... wasn't that enough? As I kept watching, I saw him pull out a little box, like a jewelry box. She opened it and with a gasp, looked at him with a huge smile on her face. I saw her say "I love it!" Then, they kissed. When they got done kissing, he took the jewelry out of the box, and put a necklace around her neck. "That should be me." I whispered lowly. I didn't even realize I had said it out loud until Kendall said, "What?" I jumped at the response, but my eyes didn't go away from Alyssa. "That should be me, kissing her. That should be me buying her stuff. Not him."

_That should be me,_

_Yeah,_

_You said you needed a little time_

_For my mistakes,_

_It's funny how you used that time _

_To have me replaced,_

_Did you think that I wouldn't see you out at the movies_

_Whatcha doin' to me,_

_You're takin' him where we used to go,_

_Now if you're tryin' to break my _

_heart,_

_It's working 'cause you know that,..._

_That should be me,_

_Holdin' your hand,_

_That should be me,_

_Makin' you laugh,_

_That should be me,_

_This is so sad,_

_That should be me,_

_That should be me,_

_That should be me,_

_Feelin' your kiss,_

_That should be me ,_

_Buyin' you gifts,_

_This is so wrong,_

_I can't go on, _

_Till you believe that,_

_That should be me_

Yes, I had made mistakes. Who doesn't? She had made her mistakes, I made mine. Neither of us were perfect. But apparently one of my mistakes was just too big for her to forgive. I had hurt her, badly. She told me she needed some time to get past my mistakes, and I had gone with it. A lot of relationships need some time apart in order to grow stronger. You know what they always say, when a bone breaks, then mends, it's always stronger. It was funny how she used that time to replace me... she just replaced me. Just like that. Like I had never mattered, like I was just someone to pass the time before someone else better came along. She had been my whole world! Suddenly, I started to see them everywhere. Everywhere me and Alyssa used to go. The movies, the beach, even the old restaurants we went to. Why did it have to be everywhere we went? It was like she was trying to break my heart. Well, if she was, it was working. When i saw her at the beach one day, I once again whispered, "That should be me." That should be me, playing with her in the water. That should be me, pulling her up when I threw her in, and kissing her passionately. That should be me.

_I need to know should I fight_

_For our love for this long_

_It's getting harder to shield_

_This pain in my heart!_

I was so confused. Should I fight? It had been a while since we had dated. Heck, it had been a while since we talked. Should I continue fighting for Alyssa? She seemed so happy with her current boyfriend... but she could be so happy with me! Right? I always thought we were happy... but maybe he did have something I didn't. I just didn't know what to do. I wanted to fight for her, but if she was seriously happy, then maybe I should suck it up and move on. But what if she was still just hurt from my mistakes and wanted to get back together with me but couldn't because she was with her boyfriend? Girls are so confusing! All I knew was that it was getting harder and harder to hide the pain I was feeling in my heart. It was all I thought about, so it happened often that the guys would ask me what was wrong. I somehow always managed to convince them I was tired, or that I was spacing, but those excuses can only go so far. They were getting more and more suspicious.

_That should be me,_

_Holdin' your hand,_

_That should be me,_

_Makin' you laugh,_

_That should be me,_

_This is so sad,_

_That should be me,_

_That should be me, _

_That should be me,_

_Feelin' your kiss,_

_That should be me,_

_Buyin' you gifts,_

_This is so wrong,_

_I can't go on,_

_Till you believe that,_

_That should be me,_

_Holding your hand,_

_That should be me,_

_Oh i makin you laugh, oh Baby,_

_That should be me,_

_(that should be me givin you flowers)_

_That should be me,_

_Talking by hours,that should be me, that should be me,_

_that should be me_

_Never should've let you go,!_

_I never should've let you go,!_

_That should be me! 3_

_Never should've let you go_

_That should be me!_

I never should've let her go. _I never should've let you go..._I thought sadly while watching Alyssa and her boyfriend at the park together. Somehow they always managed to show up wherever I was. It was like they knew I was there, and they just wanted to make my life a living nightmare. They stayed there, on the swings, talking for hours. And hours. And hours. Then he said something, got up, and walked away. She watched after him. After walking to his truck, he opened the door, got something out of the back and came back to her, carrying whatever it was behind his back. Then he produced a big bouqet of roses. Her favorite. That should be me. I should be the one giving her flowers. I should be the one talking to her for hours.

That should be me.

**Well, I hope you liked it! Don't forget to request, and let me know what you think!(: Also, wanna do me a favor and check out What Happened to James by me? But warning, it is slash, so if you don't like that kinda stuff, then don't check it out. But, yeah. You guys are amazing 3**


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